When we lose a loved one, we are forced into uncharted territory. We’re in a bind. We’re in mourning. However, we must still deal quickly with task planning, organization, and relationships with family and friends. Are we bound to be appreciative in the face of all of this? Is it essential to sit down and write thank you cards after the funeral?
Here are some ideas for expressing gratitude to your community and coworkers who have shown their sadness in unique ways. Remember that etiquette about thank-you practices, in general, is changing. We’ll make our best recommendations based on historical and current approaches for expressing gratitude following a funeral or memorial. Then you can figure out what works best for you.
Who Should Get Thank-You Cards?
It is not essential to write an individual thank you note to everyone who came to the funeral or delivered a sympathy card. Writing a card or expression of appreciation to those going above and beyond is acceptable. These people may include:
- Those who received flower gifts or those who delivered them
- Those that sent flowers or offered financial aid to your family (without mentioning the contribution amount).
- Friends have supplied intangible aid (e.g., bringing food, providing transportation, babysitting, assisting with catering).
- Pallbearers
- Musicians that performed during the funeral
- The minister who presided over the burial
- Anyone who goes above and beyond to do a unique service for you. This might be as simple as emailing you a photograph showing your loved one or telling a personal story.
How do you keep track of everyone you owe a thank you to?
When a loved one dies away, a simple notebook and pen may come in helpful.
Keep it close at hand and note each phone call and visit; don’t rely on your memory. When you’re ready to send your thank you letters, the list will come in handy.
You can assign the task of keeping this record to a friend or family member.
Make a list of everyone’s first and last names and phone numbers. It might be a great source of comfort in the future to be reminded of the help you got.
Make a list of persons who have been especially helpful or considerate in the days or weeks leading up to your loved one’s departure. It is OK to show thanks to that beautiful nurse who went above and beyond in the nursing home. Also, to that kind neighbor who supplied meals to your loved one during the illness.
Is it ever too late for a thank-you card?
So, your loved one’s funeral was over a month ago (even a few months, or over a year). Your thank-you cards were either forgotten (maybe because you were too upset), or you didn’t have the ability to send them at that moment. You’re feeling better now, wondering if it’s too late to try again.
Sending a note can never be too late. You must, however, admit that you sent the message after a significant amount of time. “I’m sorry it has been so long to respond, but I wanted to express my gratitude for your generosity.” for example. “Please accept my apologies for taking so long in responding, but your floral gift for Joe’s funeral service was beautiful, and I needed to express my gratitude.” you may write.
Alternatively, you may choose a notecard collection that isn’t meant to be a formal note. They’d be blank on the inside, leaving you lots of room to personalize Even if the funeral occurred many years ago, the card recipients would appreciate a personal note from you.
Is it required for me to handwrite each thank-you note following the funeral?
If you only have a few people to thank, writing handwritten letters may be the best alternative. Suppose you express your gratitude at the right moment. In that case, you may find it relaxing or even therapeutic during your time of mourning. On the other hand, if you have a large number of people to thank, there are choices. Pre-printed thank you cards can be purchased online. You may personalize each card by writing a letter of thanks that will appear on all of them. Most of the time, you may order items in tens or dozens. After that, you may add a signature or a few phrases to personalize it.
How do I show my heartfelt appreciation to everyone who has made online donations in memory of my loved one?
When a loved one dies, a family member or colleague may opt to create a memorial website or a donation fund in the person’s name to generate cash for a worthwhile cause or offer financial help to the family in honor of a loved one who has died.
You may be overwhelmed by the number of people who contribute in their name, some of whom you may not know personally. Avoid getting too fired up over it, especially if you don’t have everyone’s contact information.
When you reach a point in your life where you think you can express gratitude, compose thoughtful words to place on the internet. If you want assistance, you can solicit the help of a friend or family member to assist you in putting anything together. This gesture will be regarded with positivity and will also serve to bring the deceased to mind once more.
Perhaps you could send out a group email with a few photographs and tales and a statement of your heartfelt thanks for everyone’s help.
Final Thoughts
It is always proper etiquette to communicate your message from the heart. To express gratitude for the compassion shown to you and your family, first identify the services. Whatever feelings you choose to include in your note, the recipient will appreciate that you took the time to express your thanks. There is no need to worry about what to write about. You will say the right thing regardless of the circumstances as long as your message is appropriate for the situation.